Lost. F28 5'2 about 240pounds

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Ive always been chunky, preteen is the only time i dont remember being fat. And im scared of being thin cause ive never been it when it mattered.

I have lots of depression and anxiety and gone through therapy (for other things) but weight loss has always come up for helping with both depression anxiety and im all for it when im in the office and days later im telling myself to go outside and exercise (walking/running my dog maninly) i do just one lap around my Apartment complex and call it good. It take 12 -15 minutes to walk the whole complex (she likes to sniff and do her business on every bush/rock)

When my dog was younger i would walk for hours and loved it, just walking around my neighborhood. But life change for the better but my state of mind change too and i was able to go to therapy and was told that im schizoaffective bipolar type and got on meds to help with that. Life was numbed and i lost all joy in my hobbies that was for two years and towards the end of the two years i got a new gp doctor and shes great! And i asked for help with weight loss and she got me on somekind of meds that would help with appetite suppressing and it was great i didnt want to eat and lost 13 pounds in a month from not eating as much. but it was only a short term med as the effect would lessen plus it was like one chemical combination away from meth. So i stopped that apperite suppressant and gained all my weight back.

Im at a point in life that im sad about my weight and i cant get out of my depression enough to go and walk, like its looping and im stuck. Im getting my indoor hobbies back and thats really good but if i get back on psych meds and anti depressants i might lose the hobbies again and just eat more cause its the only thing that i feel like doing.

I dont know what to do. I cant commit to diet and exercise cause of the depression.

Im sorry for rambling. Im sorry if this isnt the place for this post.

submitted by /u/CallMeProperty
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/b7whgn/lost_f28_52_about_240pounds/

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